I'm not sorry

Tonight, I gave Caroline a spanking.

It didn't hurt.  It could barely have been called a 'pop'.  One little swat. More importantly, it was a measured reaction and an escalation of discipline that was needed.

See, she's one and a half, going on two.  The Terrible Two's, at least to us.  Are we spoiled because she's overall been a wonderfully well-mannered kid?  A bit.  Is that a reason to accept a backslide?  No.

She's been pitching fits at home.  The slightest thing, sometimes we don't even know what it is, creates a screaming, crying outburst.  We were thinking it was a phase, but then we learned she never, ever does that at school.  She has fallen out once or twice there, when we pick her up

Only around The Mommy and me.  She's playing us!

So we're working hard at home to correct her and require her to take responsibility for what she does.  I know that sounds extreme, but what you need to know is that its very clear she can understand what we're saying now. (It's really cool, you can ask her questions and get a yes or no answer - toally wild after 1.5 years of wishing she could tell you what she wants.)

Tonight, Caroline took my phone over to the Mommy and ended up tossing it on the floor in frustration for some reason.  So I came over, and asked her to pick it up and put it in my hand.  She tried to look the other direction, pretend she was watching the TV, (pretty cute and I was trying not to laugh), but instead of giving it to me she would touch it occasionally and then stomped on it. 

So we went to time out.  Two minutes.

After time out, I calmly told her that I loved her, why I was dissapointed in what she did and that we were going back for her to put the phone in my hand. 

A minute later, after asking and asking ,she tried to give it to the Mommy.  When the Mommy would not take it, she tossed it down again.

So I quickly but gently laid her across my knees and just tapped her on the behind.  The first, across the knees.... spanking.  One little, pain-free but startling tap.

You know what?  I didn't feel bad.  I know it didn't hurt at all.  I believe that we were loving before and after and that if we can take the time to explain to her why she was punished, she'll get it. 

I'm starting to think about this a lot.  Kids are made of rubber and if they figure that out, the fear of a rare spanking will not be a deterrent.  But if you back up disciplie with love, aren't you more likely to create a child that cares what you think about them -- and the spanking is more than a physical deterrent?  And if I can't create a kid that cares what I think, aren't I toast when she's a teenager?

Sound off below if you have opinions.  Need 'em.  She's too important of a little lady not to do the best we can to raise her.