During Halloween, we pretend things are dead, or even reborn as Zombies. We seem to celebrate the dark corners of our imagination and it is all pretend.
But sometimes, things get real. A few weeks back, Caroline won a goldfish at the fair. Caroline named the fish “Caroline”.
Two weeks ago, The Mommy found Caroline the Fish somehow in the floor, a tragic end to what must have been a brief but triumphant exploration that scientists around the world would have studied. We quickly replaced Caroline the Fish with Caroline the Fish II before Caroline the human found out.
Tonight, Caroline the Fish II did not survive All Hallows Eve. I found her floating in the bowl before we went trick-or-treating and quickly stashed it away. After a good night getting some candy and being cute in a costume, I decided to help Caroline face the reality that Caroline the Fish was gone and figured it was time to talk about heaven. She did really well, considering she’s not yet three.
Dad: Caroline, I want to talk to you about something. Caroline the Fish has gone to heaven and she is not going to come back.
Caroline: (eating candy)
Dad: See, she died, and she is going to go live with Jesus in heaven.
Caroline: (looking up, still eating candy)
Dad: Do you understand? We can be sad about it, but Caroline the Fish gets to go live with Jesus in heaven.
Caroline: Caroline the Fish is at Kevin’s house and we will go and get her.
Dad: No honey, she is gone, she died. When things die they go to heaven and they can’t come back.
Caroline: (silence)
Dad: Do you want me to help say good bye to her and flush her down the toilet?
Caroline: (softly) Ok. (louder) We’re going to flush Caroline the Fish down the toilet to Jesus.
Dad: Yes, can you help me?
Caroline: Sure. And we will get a new fish.
Dad: Okay.
[now in bathroom with Caroline the Fish placed in the toilet]
Caroline: Can I flush?
Dad: Not yet, can you pray with me? Hold my hands and close your eyes.
(With us holding both hands and looking down) Dear God, thank you for Caroline the Fish, please take good care of her and thank you for letting us spend time with her. Amen.
Caroline: Can I flush?!?
Dad: Yes. Bye, Caroline the Fish
Caroline: Bye, Caroline the Fish-
[Caroline the Fish spins out of sight]
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